You guys have no IDEA how stressed I've been. The first half and last quarter of Witch Fall are done and I love it. The latter part of the middle doesn't exist. And the bleeping thing is due out in October. I've been wracking my brain and struggling with it for months. Finally, I just decided to start with a character rewrite and hope for the best.
And then I read this article. Here's the short of it:
"The antagonist is the beating heart of the story. He/She/It creates the crisis and the crucible that forces our protagonist to become a hero. If we don’t know the endgame, we have no idea how to insert roadblocks, create misdirection, setbacks, or drama. So if you keep getting stuck? It might not be you are lazy or fearful (I wasn’t either). It might be your foundation (the antagonist/core story problem) either isn’t there or it’s weak and unable to support the bulk of 65-100,000 words."
~Kristen Lamb
Light-freakin'-bulb! My problem is I have two villains with dual purposes, which makes a mess out of the middle and undermines the beginning and the end (because one villain appears at the beginning, the other at the end).
The two need to be collaborators! This changes everything. Why didn't I see it before? It's so simple and so perfect and I missed it!
But really, who cares, because now I can finish the bleeping thing, and maybe, just maybe, I'll make my deadline. Pray my kids cooperate.
No really. Pray. It's gonna take a miracle.
Showing posts with label Villains. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Villains. Show all posts
Review of Son Of Ereubus by JS Chancellor
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
It's book review week. My publisher was kind enough to send me a ARC of Son of Ereubus (which will be given away during week four).
Here's what I liked: Garren was definitely not your cookie-cutter hero. He starts out as the villian. But his interactions with the heroine, Ariana, begin to change him. His struggles with this change are rich and complex. I also like some of the themes: redemption, forgiveness, and making amends to name a few. JS also has a talent for writing powerful romance scenes without the need for gratuitous sex. The relationship between the hero and heroine developed at a realistic pace--a refreshing change from so much fiction with "love at first sight" moments. I also liked how sassy Ariana was.
What I didn't like: I was confused in the beginning. A lot. It was hard to keep all the different names and places straight (definitely keep a thumb in the glossary). Some of the plot lines needed a bit more fleshing out, while others could have been trimmed. Some of the character's actions felt a bit forced.
All in all, I enjoyed the read. :)
How to Write Violent Scenes
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Updated Sept 4th, 09
So I was reading Michelle's post on violence and it got me really thinking. How do you write a violent scene without getting too violent?
The short answer is balance. Plot wise, the villain's evil needs to be balanced by the hero's goodness. The blood and gore by the hero's attempts to stop it. It's all in how your character reacts to the violence, how it affects them, what they think of it. If you're truly in deep POV, it's not too hard.
In the actual scene, space out the violence with descriptions, thoughts, random interuptions (keep reading for an example). Make sure you use all the senses (Taste the blood, hear the ribs crack, feel the gun jump in her hands, smell the powder, etc0. I also like to throw in some random thought. So though your character might be in a fight for his life, he sees a car drive by, the driver oblivious. A dog might bark. These elements all help balance the scene.
If you find it gets too intense, make it so your character can't handle the gore. They cringe and look away etc.--simultaneously sparing your reader.
For example, here's something from my WIP. The scene is incredibly violent, but my character, Ilyenna, is fighting for someone else--Metha, a pregnant woman whose lover is beating her because she dared defy him. I'll color code the violence with the balancing moments. See if it works for you.
Violence
Balancing elements (like descriptions)
Metha spit in his face.
The thin line of spittle ran down his cheek. He daubed it with his fingers, gazing at it in shock. Grabbing Metha, he threw her to the floor. Drawing back his foot, he slammed it into her stomach. Metha gasped in shock and pain, curling protectively around her swollen belly. He kicked her again, and again.
Ilyenna’s mind refused to accept what her eyes saw. Time seemed to speed up while the rest of her slowed down. And then she remembered the Argon babies. The ones she had tended. The ones who even now might be dead. Like Metha’s would be.
Rage boiled in her like a gnashing monster. She threw open the door and screamed, “No!” She shoved Darrien.
Without taking his eyes from Metha, he backhanded her so hard that blackness curled in from the outside of her vision. The blackness receded. Tiny sparks flashed. Shaking her head to clear it, she saw Metha, her face screwed up in agony as Darrien pounded her—his features contorted by a bottomless rage. He wouldn’t stop until she was dead. He’ll kill both her and her baby.
Without thought, she threw herself over Metha, screaming as loud and long as she could, “Rone!” A kick to her already bruised ribs stole her breath. Another made her whole body clench in protest. Another and a scream of pain tore from her throat. Her whole existence revolved around waiting for the next kick and the next explosion of pain. She realized her folly too late. She hadn’t saved anyone.
He’s going to kill all three of us.
Something cracked. It sounded like lightening. At first she thought something inside her had finally snapped, but she didn't feel it. And then the kicks finally stopped.
Ilyenna rolled off Metha and vomited again, and again, and again.
When her wretched finally stopped, she managed to look up.
Rone had come. He had Darrien underneath him, his fist working the other man into pulp. She tried to shout, but her words came out as little more than a hoarse whisper, “No, Rone, don’t kill him. They’ll execute you.”
The opposite door flung open. Wide eyed, Undon barreled into the room, shouting for his clansmen. But they were already in the room. They must have heard her screams. It took four Tyrans to pull Rone off. Even then, he strained with every fiber of his being to reach Darrien. In his eyes, murder gleamed bright as a newly polished axe.
She realized her hand was wet and looked down. Bright blood pooled beneath her. For a moment, she thought it was hers. But then she remembered Metha. Barely holding on to consciousness, she leaned over the woman. Blood gushed between her legs, soaking everything around her.
I’m a healer. I must help her. But she hurt so much. She couldn’t reach through the pain to her thoughts. Every time she moved, she wanted to scream. But screaming would only make her hurt more.
Undon’s daughters hurried to Metha, grabbing the woman and hauling her out of the kitchen, leaving nothing but a trail of blood as testament to what had happened.
Ilyenna watched them go, trying force herself to get up and help them. Unable to do so.
A face appeared before her. It took a moment for Ilyenna to realize it was Narium. “The dead protect me, what have they done to you?”
Ilyenna tried to shake her head, but it hurt too much. “It’s not my blood.” But she tasted blood in her mouth. Then again, maybe some of it was. Not wanting to make herself sick, she spit it onto the already stained floor.
Narium glanced up. “Get her to the women’s house.”
So I was reading Michelle's post on violence and it got me really thinking. How do you write a violent scene without getting too violent?
The short answer is balance. Plot wise, the villain's evil needs to be balanced by the hero's goodness. The blood and gore by the hero's attempts to stop it. It's all in how your character reacts to the violence, how it affects them, what they think of it. If you're truly in deep POV, it's not too hard.
In the actual scene, space out the violence with descriptions, thoughts, random interuptions (keep reading for an example). Make sure you use all the senses (Taste the blood, hear the ribs crack, feel the gun jump in her hands, smell the powder, etc0. I also like to throw in some random thought. So though your character might be in a fight for his life, he sees a car drive by, the driver oblivious. A dog might bark. These elements all help balance the scene.
If you find it gets too intense, make it so your character can't handle the gore. They cringe and look away etc.--simultaneously sparing your reader.
For example, here's something from my WIP. The scene is incredibly violent, but my character, Ilyenna, is fighting for someone else--Metha, a pregnant woman whose lover is beating her because she dared defy him. I'll color code the violence with the balancing moments. See if it works for you.
Violence
Balancing elements (like descriptions)
Metha spit in his face.
The thin line of spittle ran down his cheek. He daubed it with his fingers, gazing at it in shock. Grabbing Metha, he threw her to the floor. Drawing back his foot, he slammed it into her stomach. Metha gasped in shock and pain, curling protectively around her swollen belly. He kicked her again, and again.
Ilyenna’s mind refused to accept what her eyes saw. Time seemed to speed up while the rest of her slowed down. And then she remembered the Argon babies. The ones she had tended. The ones who even now might be dead. Like Metha’s would be.
Rage boiled in her like a gnashing monster. She threw open the door and screamed, “No!” She shoved Darrien.
Without taking his eyes from Metha, he backhanded her so hard that blackness curled in from the outside of her vision. The blackness receded. Tiny sparks flashed. Shaking her head to clear it, she saw Metha, her face screwed up in agony as Darrien pounded her—his features contorted by a bottomless rage. He wouldn’t stop until she was dead. He’ll kill both her and her baby.
Without thought, she threw herself over Metha, screaming as loud and long as she could, “Rone!” A kick to her already bruised ribs stole her breath. Another made her whole body clench in protest. Another and a scream of pain tore from her throat. Her whole existence revolved around waiting for the next kick and the next explosion of pain. She realized her folly too late. She hadn’t saved anyone.
He’s going to kill all three of us.
Something cracked. It sounded like lightening. At first she thought something inside her had finally snapped, but she didn't feel it. And then the kicks finally stopped.
Ilyenna rolled off Metha and vomited again, and again, and again.
When her wretched finally stopped, she managed to look up.
Rone had come. He had Darrien underneath him, his fist working the other man into pulp. She tried to shout, but her words came out as little more than a hoarse whisper, “No, Rone, don’t kill him. They’ll execute you.”
The opposite door flung open. Wide eyed, Undon barreled into the room, shouting for his clansmen. But they were already in the room. They must have heard her screams. It took four Tyrans to pull Rone off. Even then, he strained with every fiber of his being to reach Darrien. In his eyes, murder gleamed bright as a newly polished axe.
She realized her hand was wet and looked down. Bright blood pooled beneath her. For a moment, she thought it was hers. But then she remembered Metha. Barely holding on to consciousness, she leaned over the woman. Blood gushed between her legs, soaking everything around her.
I’m a healer. I must help her. But she hurt so much. She couldn’t reach through the pain to her thoughts. Every time she moved, she wanted to scream. But screaming would only make her hurt more.
Undon’s daughters hurried to Metha, grabbing the woman and hauling her out of the kitchen, leaving nothing but a trail of blood as testament to what had happened.
Ilyenna watched them go, trying force herself to get up and help them. Unable to do so.
A face appeared before her. It took a moment for Ilyenna to realize it was Narium. “The dead protect me, what have they done to you?”
Ilyenna tried to shake her head, but it hurt too much. “It’s not my blood.” But she tasted blood in her mouth. Then again, maybe some of it was. Not wanting to make herself sick, she spit it onto the already stained floor.
Narium glanced up. “Get her to the women’s house.”
Adding tension
Monday, July 13, 2009
In a previous post, I showed you a sentence: Rocks and boulders circled the pool. But how can I add tension to the scene? Well, let me break it down for you:
My character (Daughter of Winter) is pinned between the villain and a cliff. It's a tense moment, but how do I convey that though showing? Well, read this section first, and then I'll break down what I've done.
The river narrowed and deepened. The air was thick and heavy with the smell of the water. With a sense of foreboding, she climbed up the bald expanse of a flat boulder and looked down. A waterfall crashed down a steep cliff before hurtling into a deep pool. Rocks and boulders ringed the pool like the teeth of a hungry maw. She looked from one side to the other. The cliffs went on for leagues in either direction. She had nowhere to go. The dogs were very close now.
She stared at the base, her whole body screaming to live.
The dogs crashing through the trees, baying happily when they found her. She turned, and saw Darrien astride his gelding. It surprised her that he was alone. What would he do to her?
He rubbed the back of his head, where she’d clobbered him. “That will cost you.”
Everything. He was going to take everything she held dear. By the time he was finished, she wouldn’t be Ilyenna anymore. Instead, all that remained would be a hallowed out husk. If she didn’t bend to him, he would destroy her clanswomen. Only one choice remained for her now. She peeked over the edge and looked down, down, down. She felt dizzy and disoriented. Would it hurt?
His voice softened. “Come here, now.” Understanding had dawned on Darrien’s face.
She grunted. In this only, had she any modicum of control. She closed her eyes. But she couldn’t bring herself to jump. Drawing every ounce of courage, she inched backward. You’re the clanmistress. You protect your clan. No matter the cost. With each minuscule step, she expected to feel nothing but open air beneath her.
“Ilyenna, no!” She gasped out the breath she had been holding. Rone came crashing through the trees—his face white with fear and exertion.
Her heart squeezed violently within her, flooding her whole body with a burst of blood. Why couldn’t he have loved her?
He paused before her, his hand outstretched. “Come with me, Ilyenna.”
She shook her head violently, tendrils of her damp hair swaying. “I can’t, you know that Rone. I have to protect them. Protect myself.”
“We’ll find another way.”
Duty. Honor. She smiled at him, gently, trying to ease his pain. If she didn’t do it now, she might lose her courage forever. “There is no other way.” She stepped back, and this time, her foot caught nothing but empty air. She pushed off. Rone reached for her, his face twisting in despair. She heard his scream as she fell. Her heart plunged in her throat as she watched the ground rush up to meet her.
In this scene, I really have three major conflicts going on at one: Ilyenna's internal conflict--to protect her people, she believes she must kill herself; her external conflict with the villain; her conflict with her love interest.
red=descriptions
blue=tension building words or phrases
green=conflict (internal or external) note that conflict builds tension, but my purpose here is better served if they are separate.
The river narrowed and deepened. The air was thick and heavy with the smell of the water. With a sense of foreboding, she climbed up the bald expanse of a flat boulder and peered over the edge. A waterfall hurtled into a deep pool. Rocks and boulders ringed the pool like the teeth of a hungry maw--anytime you can make a description dangerous, you kill two birds with one stone. She looked from one side to the other. The cliffs went on for leagues in either direction. She had nowhere to go. The dogs were very close now.
She stared at the base, her whole body screaming to live. --setting this sentence apart gives it extra emphasis
The dogs crashed through the trees, baying happily (this adds a sharp contrast to the deadly scene) when they found her. She turned, and saw Darrien astride his gelding. It surprised her that he was alone. What would he do to her?
He rubbed the back of his head, where she’d clobbered him. “That will cost you.”
Everything.--see how I'm mixing up my sentence lengths? Putting a sentence in it's own paragraph, or it's own sentence, gives it special emphasis. When the tension is really fast, my sentences are shorter.-- He was going to take everything she held dear. By the time he was finished, she wouldn’t be Ilyenna anymore. Instead, all that remained would be a hallowed out husk. If she didn’t bend to him, he would destroy her clanswomen. Only one choice remained for her now. She peeked over the edge and looked down, down, down. She felt dizzy and disoriented. Would it hurt?--adding the characters thoughts also gives variety and sets it apart.
His voice softened. “Come here, now.” Understanding had dawned on Darrien’s face.
She grunted. In this only, had she any modicum of control. She closed her eyes. But she couldn’t bring herself to jump. Drawing every ounce of courage, she inched backward. You’re the clanmistress. You protect your clan. No matter the cost. With each minuscule step, she expected to feel nothing but open air beneath her. --see how I'm dragging out the tension? Just like in real life, time slows during tense situations (actually, we speed up, but that's irrelevant).
“Ilyenna, no!” She gasped out the breath she had been holding. Rone stumbled through the trees—his face white with fear and exertion. --I'm building the tension by adding another conflict.
Her heart squeezed violently within her, flooding her whole body with a burst of blood. Why couldn’t he have loved her?
He paused before her, his hand outstretched. “Come with me, Ilyenna.”
She shook her head, tendrils of her damp hair swaying. “I can’t, you know that Rone. I have to protect them. Protect myself.”
“We’ll find another way.”
Duty. Honor. She smiled at him, gently (again, the word gently contrasts with the severity of the scene), trying to ease his pain. If she didn’t do it now, she might lose her courage forever. “There is no other way.” She stepped back, and this time, her foot caught nothing but empty air. She pushed off. Rone reached for her, his face twisting in despair. She heard his scream as she fell. Her heart plunged in her throat as she watched the ground rush up to meet her.
Whaddya think? How'd I do?
My character (Daughter of Winter) is pinned between the villain and a cliff. It's a tense moment, but how do I convey that though showing? Well, read this section first, and then I'll break down what I've done.
The river narrowed and deepened. The air was thick and heavy with the smell of the water. With a sense of foreboding, she climbed up the bald expanse of a flat boulder and looked down. A waterfall crashed down a steep cliff before hurtling into a deep pool. Rocks and boulders ringed the pool like the teeth of a hungry maw. She looked from one side to the other. The cliffs went on for leagues in either direction. She had nowhere to go. The dogs were very close now.
She stared at the base, her whole body screaming to live.
The dogs crashing through the trees, baying happily when they found her. She turned, and saw Darrien astride his gelding. It surprised her that he was alone. What would he do to her?
He rubbed the back of his head, where she’d clobbered him. “That will cost you.”
Everything. He was going to take everything she held dear. By the time he was finished, she wouldn’t be Ilyenna anymore. Instead, all that remained would be a hallowed out husk. If she didn’t bend to him, he would destroy her clanswomen. Only one choice remained for her now. She peeked over the edge and looked down, down, down. She felt dizzy and disoriented. Would it hurt?
His voice softened. “Come here, now.” Understanding had dawned on Darrien’s face.
She grunted. In this only, had she any modicum of control. She closed her eyes. But she couldn’t bring herself to jump. Drawing every ounce of courage, she inched backward. You’re the clanmistress. You protect your clan. No matter the cost. With each minuscule step, she expected to feel nothing but open air beneath her.
“Ilyenna, no!” She gasped out the breath she had been holding. Rone came crashing through the trees—his face white with fear and exertion.
Her heart squeezed violently within her, flooding her whole body with a burst of blood. Why couldn’t he have loved her?
He paused before her, his hand outstretched. “Come with me, Ilyenna.”
She shook her head violently, tendrils of her damp hair swaying. “I can’t, you know that Rone. I have to protect them. Protect myself.”
“We’ll find another way.”
Duty. Honor. She smiled at him, gently, trying to ease his pain. If she didn’t do it now, she might lose her courage forever. “There is no other way.” She stepped back, and this time, her foot caught nothing but empty air. She pushed off. Rone reached for her, his face twisting in despair. She heard his scream as she fell. Her heart plunged in her throat as she watched the ground rush up to meet her.
In this scene, I really have three major conflicts going on at one: Ilyenna's internal conflict--to protect her people, she believes she must kill herself; her external conflict with the villain; her conflict with her love interest.
red=descriptions
blue=tension building words or phrases
green=conflict (internal or external) note that conflict builds tension, but my purpose here is better served if they are separate.
The river narrowed and deepened. The air was thick and heavy with the smell of the water. With a sense of foreboding, she climbed up the bald expanse of a flat boulder and peered over the edge. A waterfall hurtled into a deep pool. Rocks and boulders ringed the pool like the teeth of a hungry maw--anytime you can make a description dangerous, you kill two birds with one stone. She looked from one side to the other. The cliffs went on for leagues in either direction. She had nowhere to go. The dogs were very close now.
She stared at the base, her whole body screaming to live. --setting this sentence apart gives it extra emphasis
The dogs crashed through the trees, baying happily (this adds a sharp contrast to the deadly scene) when they found her. She turned, and saw Darrien astride his gelding. It surprised her that he was alone. What would he do to her?
He rubbed the back of his head, where she’d clobbered him. “That will cost you.”
Everything.--see how I'm mixing up my sentence lengths? Putting a sentence in it's own paragraph, or it's own sentence, gives it special emphasis. When the tension is really fast, my sentences are shorter.-- He was going to take everything she held dear. By the time he was finished, she wouldn’t be Ilyenna anymore. Instead, all that remained would be a hallowed out husk. If she didn’t bend to him, he would destroy her clanswomen. Only one choice remained for her now. She peeked over the edge and looked down, down, down. She felt dizzy and disoriented. Would it hurt?--adding the characters thoughts also gives variety and sets it apart.
His voice softened. “Come here, now.” Understanding had dawned on Darrien’s face.
She grunted. In this only, had she any modicum of control. She closed her eyes. But she couldn’t bring herself to jump. Drawing every ounce of courage, she inched backward. You’re the clanmistress. You protect your clan. No matter the cost. With each minuscule step, she expected to feel nothing but open air beneath her. --see how I'm dragging out the tension? Just like in real life, time slows during tense situations (actually, we speed up, but that's irrelevant).
“Ilyenna, no!” She gasped out the breath she had been holding. Rone stumbled through the trees—his face white with fear and exertion. --I'm building the tension by adding another conflict.
Her heart squeezed violently within her, flooding her whole body with a burst of blood. Why couldn’t he have loved her?
He paused before her, his hand outstretched. “Come with me, Ilyenna.”
She shook her head, tendrils of her damp hair swaying. “I can’t, you know that Rone. I have to protect them. Protect myself.”
“We’ll find another way.”
Duty. Honor. She smiled at him, gently (again, the word gently contrasts with the severity of the scene), trying to ease his pain. If she didn’t do it now, she might lose her courage forever. “There is no other way.” She stepped back, and this time, her foot caught nothing but empty air. She pushed off. Rone reached for her, his face twisting in despair. She heard his scream as she fell. Her heart plunged in her throat as she watched the ground rush up to meet her.
Whaddya think? How'd I do?
Favorite Villains
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
What makes the best villains?
The answer will vary a bit depending on what draws you. So pick your favorite villain. Mine is the Phantom in The Phantom of the Opera. Here's the top things that draw me to him:
1. Conflicting emotions. I'm actually attracted to the Phantom, and at the same time, repulsed. At points, I want him to win the girl. At others, I don't. But always, I have sympathy for why he does the things he does.
2. A sense of mystery. A good villain keeps me guessing at the beginning. I'm not sure if the Phantom is a good guy or a bad guy. At the end, I'm still not sure.
3. A sense of understanding. I feel sorry for the Phantom. He's had a hard life, but he's made the most of it. Then he falls in love. And wouldn't you know it, his love falls for the rich, popular boy.
My second favorite villain is one of my own creation. His name is Zacar. He's the 3rd wheel in a love triangle with my main character. What I crave about him is how hard he's trying to break away from his past, and especially his evil father, but it seems no matter how hard he tries, he can never break free.
You root for him. You have sympathy for him. You ache for him.
So, who's your favorite villain. Why?
The answer will vary a bit depending on what draws you. So pick your favorite villain. Mine is the Phantom in The Phantom of the Opera. Here's the top things that draw me to him:
1. Conflicting emotions. I'm actually attracted to the Phantom, and at the same time, repulsed. At points, I want him to win the girl. At others, I don't. But always, I have sympathy for why he does the things he does.
2. A sense of mystery. A good villain keeps me guessing at the beginning. I'm not sure if the Phantom is a good guy or a bad guy. At the end, I'm still not sure.
3. A sense of understanding. I feel sorry for the Phantom. He's had a hard life, but he's made the most of it. Then he falls in love. And wouldn't you know it, his love falls for the rich, popular boy.
My second favorite villain is one of my own creation. His name is Zacar. He's the 3rd wheel in a love triangle with my main character. What I crave about him is how hard he's trying to break away from his past, and especially his evil father, but it seems no matter how hard he tries, he can never break free.
You root for him. You have sympathy for him. You ache for him.
So, who's your favorite villain. Why?
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